with Bob Hall, M.A.CR.

with Bob Hall, M.A.CR.



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Bob Hall is the founder of Learning To Live With Conflict, Inc., a company he established in 1987 to provide education and training in the analysis and resolution of conflict. His academic background includes a Bachelors Degree in Business Administration from the Rochester Institute of Technology and a Masters Degree in Conflict Resolution from Antioch University; as well as a host of informal study and research on sexual violence, human sexuality, addiction, violence, conflict, nonviolence, and Girardian Theory on mimetic rivalry, sacrificial violence, and scapegoating.

Bob has lectured on over 900 college campuses throughout the United States and Canada and has been nominated three times for the National Association for Campus Activities “Lecture Program of the Year.”


Hall’s introduction to the conflict field came in 1981 through work with self-defense  education and violence prevention. He holds a black belt in judo and has been active in the sport as a competitor, instructor, coach and organizer for over 40 years. Aware of the risks and limitations of traditional fighting approaches to self-defense, Bob co-authored and team-taught a 20-hour classroom course in self-defense education at the Rochester Institute of Technology from 1984-1988. The course was designed to train students in preventing, recognizing, and defusing potentially violent conflicts before they had escalated to violence; as well as to prepare students physically and psychologically for the use of violence as a last resort. Course material was based on his back-ground in judo, and research on current self-defense literature, victimology, and the writings of Mohandas K. Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., on non-violence.

In 1986 his focus shifted to work with rape and sexual assault prevention and the broad spectrum of issues surrounding the problem of sexual violence. Over time, Bob’s understanding of conflict and violence and his experience in fighting arts and exposure to Gandhi’s teachings caused him to embrace non-violence as the defining core  principle of his work with conflict and the only practical answer to the problem of violence. This led to the formation of Learning To Live With Conflict, Inc. in the summer of 1987 under the doctrine that 

“A peaceful world

  is not possible


   individual people

  who see peace

     as a possibility.”

To date, his campus lecture topics have included ‘Nonviolent Sexuality: A Campus Dialogue on Sex, Conflict, Alcohol & Intimacy(initially titled ‘Hands Off! Let’s Talk’) ‘Winning Without Fighting & What it Takes to Survive,’ based on his work with self-defense education, “The Technology of Peace,’ on the emergence of the conflict resolution field, and ‘Learning To Live With Conflict,’ a seminar series designed to articulate core principles of the conflict field.

Bob has volunteered as a family and  community dispute mediator through the New York State Unified Court System since 1988 and was the first man to serve on the Board of Directors for the New York State Coalition Against Sexual Assault in 1997. Born and raised in Buffalo, New York, Bob lives and works in New York City with his wife Wendy.

Bob Hall on

Nonviolent Sexuality

Excerpts from Topics Covered


Views & Reviews

On Media Sex

“Most of the sex we are exposed to, through television, advertising, movies and music, is designed to entertain us or to sell us something. It's what I call ‘good sex and perfect love.’ It's not real.  And, although we are passively aware of this fact, these images still affect the way we treat each other and the expectations we set for our relationships.”

*        *        *

Thank you for finding the time during your busy trip to the University of Maine to speak with my  undergraduate Human Sexuality class. You  were wonderful. I have seen many dynamic speakers and can honestly say that you are “up  there  with  the  best.”  

. . . Your  presentation-style captures the  audience instantly. Too often in academia professors limit  their view of teaching to lecturing behind a podium. It is refreshing to have someone like you step into the classroom.

Professor of Family Relations, Ph.D.

University of Maine

On Sex Education

“Many consider sex education and open, candid discussions of sexual issues to be somehow obscene. I have a different definition of obscenity. I find things like rape and sexual assault, unplanned pregnancy, homophobia, and sexually transmitted disease to be far more obscene than open    candid discussions of sex. Ignorance may be bliss, but knowledge is power and freedom to make informed decisions. And without educational armor against the barrage of sexual misinformation, which exists in any    society, we are all vulnerable to the damage which fear and ignorance can inflict.”

*        *        *

Everyone,  including   myself,  walked away feeling better about themselves.

SAB President

Wagner College (NY)

On Male Sexual Arousal

“During a heightened stage of physical excitement, the penis, if not fully stimulated to the point of orgasm will, in fact, experience an excruciating build-up of pressure to such a degree that, if left unattended, will cause an explosive reaction in the male genitalia which has been known to result in the complete destruction of the male reproductive region, often causing extensive property damage and injury to other persons within one square mile of the  blast  as  well . . .  I'm kidding! . . . Really!Sex may be a drive, but it doesn't give you license!”

*        *        *

You proved that learning can be rewarding and fun. Once again Bob, thanks!

Student Activities Programmer

North Adams State College (MA)

On Rights & Responsibilities

in Relationships

“No one should have to go out on a date with a whip and a chair 'cause their date can't control their glands! I don't care who initiates interest. I don't care where you go, or what you're wearing. I don't care how much money has been spent. I don't care what you've been doing on the couch, or how much clothing is on the floor. No one, under any circumstances, has the right to force you to have sex against your will. Period! I don't care if you walk around naked, smiling and winking at everyone you see . . . You may get a few more offers if you do that . . . or not, I don't know.”

*        *        *

I watched  our  student’s,  and even our faculty member's, reactions while you spoke.  Their rapt attention and  delight  is perhaps greater testament  to  your  ability  than  the very     positive  comments they shared  with me  afterwards.

Director of Residential Life

Augustana College (IL)

On Resolving the Conflict

Nonviolent Sexuality stands for respect in relationships.  It's not anti-sex, it's anti-force. The message speaks to the need for direct and open communication if we are to have a hope of finding  real  intimacy. In international relations the last diplomatic act which countries make before going to war is to sever all  diplomatic  ties, as  if to say, ‘we no longer have anything to talk about, time to fight!’ In individual relationships as well, it's when communication stops that the real problems begin.  The bottom line, in all human interaction, is that force is never acceptable, and communication is always respectable.

*        *        *

You have a powerful, yet sensitive, way in dealing with a topic that is hard to discuss for many of our students.  Relationships with each other are the basis of our existence on  this planet, and yet  we don't spend enough time learning and understanding  how to deal with issues centered around them. If sexual stereotypes are to be broken on our college campuses, then this is a must lecture for every college.          


Program Advisor

Edmonds Community College (WA)

• 3-Time Nominee

   NACA Lecture of the Year

   (National Association for Campus Activities)

• Black Belt in Judo

   Over 40 years experience

   as a Competitor, Coach and Organizer

• Owner and Founder

   Learning To Live With Conflict, Inc.

   “A Conflict Education Company” - Since 1987

• Former Board Member

   New York State

   Coalition Against Sexual Assault

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Sex, Conflict, Alcohol & Intimacy

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Sex, Conflict, Alcohol & Intimacy

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